Dear Diary Journal Thing
by Deaths Lie
Summary: Dear Diary Journal thing I have decided to start writing because I never want to forget how happy I am here and now. Will you hold the times of past to future for me so I know I can come back? I think things are about to change and I should record them this time through. I think it will be fun to write about my life, now love life as well. I may or my not say secrets. -Masaomi Kida
1. Entry One

_Dear diary journal thing, _

_ I don't know about everyone else but personally I hate being sick. It's not the cough bruising my ribs, or even puking up my guts. It's the fact that I'm embarrassed to go around people, not that they really want me near them anyways. Anyway for some reason my beautiful, wonderful, idiotic boyfriend decided he should come over since I didn't show up for school._

_ See our parents hadn't let us live together like we were the first few weeks of our dating. You know for some reason it's completely insane for us to want that. Mikados parents kind of threatend to send him back home if we lived together, psh rent would have been cheaper, but we can date. But not living together lowers my chance of SEX!_

_ Oh wow I get off topic but let me just talk about Mikado and I eheh more intimate scenes for a bit. Okay so we have gotten louder than when we first started. Like as in we used to be a whisper, and now I'm scared the neighbors are going to come over to tell us to shut up. I am so screaming man. Dairy. Journal thing. Plus he gets me so excited. Oh my God! It feels so incredible. Like you haven't lived 'til Mikados fucked you. I highly recommend it. Wait he is MINE! But you're not living so no worries. Right? Emph now I am sooo horny, I think I am gonna go take care of this. _

_ Okay better now, but a bit tired. :( Thats what I get for getting hard when I'm sick. OH right! Sick! Thats the reason I started writing in the first place. But sex with Mikado is very distracting. _

_ So Mikado came over and I have this embarrassing cough right now. I didn't come to school today, wait what time is it? Okay 11:48 still today. Not because I couldn't handle the hour long cough, it's because I didn't want Mikado to see me so weak._

_ I know he is like the only person to see me cry, dance naked in the bathroom, obsessively clean my house, oh and scream from unbearable pleasure. But something about hacking up Java the Hut and blowing out his relatives really makes me embarrassed. _

_ He made me soup, fed it to me, and was just all around babying me, any girls dream right? No I am a guy. But he was being so sweet but he though I had a really high fever because I was blushing so hard. It only got worse as the night progressed and I was ready to faint from trying not to cough. Finally I had anough and litterally picked him up and threw him out of my front door. I may be the uke but I am stronger and biger than him. Now I feel lame... _  
_ Last thought before I crash. I have been seeing more of them recently. How can the yellow rebuild without its leader? Oh well I will continue smilling and try not to fall again. I can't let what happened to Saki happen to Mikado, I would run away with her if it ment my debt might be closer to being paid. Good night I will protect them good this time. I promise. If I can just get past Izaya._


	2. Entry Two

_Dear Diary Journal thing,_

_ Okay I think I have told you this before, I obsessively clean my house, yeah I hate this about me. Everything has to be perfect! When I am in society I just ignore all the imperfect things surrounding me, to the point I seem to be a major slob. Carefree. But in all actuality I ignore it because if I didn't I'd break down crying, and begin to roughly clean things._

_ I love being with Mikado, he makes it so I don't feel like the worlds crashing down all around me, telling me just how imperfect everything really is. He honestly is so far from "perfect" but to me he is the only thing that actually is. He makes me feel calm even when I am ready to throw myself on the floor freaking out. No worries though societies floors are terribly filthy so I wouldn't dare._

_ Not many people knows this but Mikado draws, really well. I think it's absolutely amazing, because I can't. It's not that I don't have the talent, honestly I don't know if I can't learn. I can't stand the hideous lines steaming from my pencil long enough to know. It makes me want to vomit._

_ When people say they can't even draw a stick figure, they are lying. They can at least draw something that resembles a stick figure, me on the other hand really can't draw one. I draw it, hate it, erase it, going back to my original blank page. I do this enough times that soon the paper is thinned and torn making me have to throw it out. Drawing/coloring is an OCD person kryptonite. It may seem like I am over reacting, but seriously, it is a huge issue._

_ Today in History we had to draw pictures for a time line. I thought since I am in highschool now that I wouldn't be forced to draw like in grade school, LIES. Anyway I tried to explain to my teacher that I really couldn't draw, I even suggest printing some pictures. She said, "Now Kida you can't just get out of this because you can't draw. Now get back to work artistic ability isn't what you're getting graded on, this should be an easy A." God I hate normal people, teachers at that, they never understand. I turned in that time line with a few lines were the pictures should have been, obvious eraser use; and a snide remark of "I told you I couldn't draw Miss because I can't bare looking at how terrible it is. Thanks for understanding."_

_ Yeah she was the teacher who told me "now I understand you two feeling it's fine to kiss each other before school, but you're two two guys you have to expect someone to get upset. Masaomi just because you got hit (yeah I had a pretty good black eye by this point) and tried to hit Mikado doesn't give you the right to send them to the nurses office. Now because they initiated the fight only one day suspension and three days of detention." Yeah I think she no likey gay people, well I don't care._

_ I went to English so pissed I barely listened to her rambling about food. I was mad because everything **has** to be perfect, and because someone(same person) bitched at me in the hall again. Today for some reason seeing Mikado and looking him in the eyes on the way to English had a negative effect on my speeding heart, almost, almost, making me wish I didn't see him those periods like usual._

_ I think it's funny when someone tries to start something with us. Makes me pity them, like damn their penis must be tiny for them to be suck major dicks, luckily most everyone doesn't seem to feel the need to prove themselves. On that note girls are secretly packing, I mean they yell at someone for us._

_ I am still sick :( but at least my stupid cough has shortened and is only ever half an hour now. My nose is still stuffy but at least Snotlax went home. Ugh! My lips are getting chapped, and lonely! I can't wait 'til I get rid of this stupid cold, then I can kiss my Mikado._


	3. Entry Three

_Dear Dairy Journal Thing,_

_I hate that I created them. Who do they think they are staring up without _**_MY_**_ permission?! They are mine and then they go and try to attack my little angel?! Fuck No! Grr It makes me so furious! My things attacking each other hurts._

_I wonder if that _**_BITCH_**_ has anything to do with this. If he tries to ruin Mikados life I will be pissed. He can have mine, but he can't come near Mikado's. _**_/\/\/\/\/ _**_And the worst part is that fucking creep thought me a damn lesson. I know now I will forever protect the one I love. No one gets to tear them down, hurt them, or control them ever._

_Something about the endless amount of pain he forced upon me, made me realize I can take ANYTHING. Also when the pain became so much and I thought I'd die, I realized how much I actually wanted to live. It's almost funny when the thing that makes you want to die, shows you how much you don't want to. The bile mixed with blood swirling in ones mouth, covering the shattered hear. I know that eventually everything will be alright, and it just takes time to reach a shower._

_I don't care if he showed me the joys in life, he is the reason I had to go looking. I know he already messed with Mikado, but I swear I will protect him. No matter what can happen to me, he will be safe._

_Him being happy, and safe is the most important thing to me. Thats why when my time to leave comes, he will have Anri. I should probably mention no one at school actually knows we are dating. Well aside from those girls and Ryo. Erika and Walker would so totally fan girl if they knew. He he Walkers a fan girl._

_Oh My GERD! I am not sick anymore! I can finally please Mr. Dicky and my prostate. Being the uke actually so rocks. Oh my gosh I haven't even kissed him since I was sick, plus two days just to make sure. Oh and sorry dairy Journal Thing for not writing for a four days, life got busy. And yeah this is short too..._

_Oh so I am thinking about getting a job, since I kind of got fired from my last one... Any Idea of what I should be? I know your not exactly vocal and all, but you make me happy from pissed so I think your quite magical. Maybe you could just like send me a sign? No? Okay yeah that was stupid. See you soon. Oh actually do you know if Mikado has seen me hid you? Like there is something that has been bothering me and I need to tell someone. Can I trust you like that?_

_I am ofically insane. I am trying to have a convirsation with an object. Time to take a nap and sexify myself before Mikado arrives. He works todays so he should get here around 10:30, he is going to be so tired tomorrow. But not me 'cause I is about to go night night. Bye~_


	4. Entry Four

_Dear Diary Thing,_

_ Okay so last night was amazing! No joke. We tried something a bit different. So remember how yesterday I said I needed to get ready? Ok well it made last night AMAZING!_

Mikado entered my house a little past the 22 hour (10 pm). He walked into a dark empty house the only light being admitted from candles illuminating a small path of rose leading to the bedroom. He followed the path to the half open bedroom door. He lightly pushed it open to reveal me sitting on the bed only having a bottle of lube on my lap. I gave a sweet smile to Makado as he stepped inside . "Take off your pants and join me." I said in my super sexy voice.

Mikado snickered, removing his socks by pressing on the heels as he walked "don't mind if I do gorgeous." He climbed over me so his legs were on either side of my hips. "How long have you been waiting?" He didn't wait for a reply before leaning into his awesome lover's waiting lips. He pressed his lips forcefully quickly bringing his tongue into his still awesome lover's warm mouth. He explored the super sweet cavern, slowly pushing the sex machine into the pillows behind them. Mikado's neck was wrapped by my strong arms, within seconds their connection deepening.

Mikado pulled apart to quickly ravish my cute ear, lowly nipping down his neck. My disappointed cries abruptly ended to the new form of contact, pleased with quiet means of pleasure, Mikado deserted the nipping to go to sucking on the pale skin, leaving love bruising as he went. He nipped and sucked down to my little belly button, ignoring my amazing fast turn on nubs.

Mikado began licking the extremely hard abs above the pleading arousal, me emitting soft little giggles. "Ngh! Mikado I want..." I tried to paint out before flipping the positions around. "You should feel your own torture sometimes." I cooed removing Mikado's shirt.

Once the fresh skin was exposed I leaned in to kiss Mikado's paps (is that on a dog or did I use it right?), removing the belt with the same motion. I flung it across the room to where the shirt had gone previously. I swished off the too large of pants from my super skinny boyfriends body, taking the underwear with. I threw it in the direction of the door, not really caring where it landed. The action revealing Mikado's ripe sexy fruit ready to be plucked.

I unconsciously licked my lips before grinning. Me slyly began stroking the hard member, sliding the precum down the base. My own weight on my knees and left hand, my gorgeous face hovering over my excited victim. I moved my head down in time with my skilled hand. Me delivering a passionate kiss to the lips of my love.

"Are you okay?" I asked as I separated our lips, by mere centimeters. I received a really cute heavy nod, telling me to continue. I relaxed onto my heels, bringing my head away from his perfect face to something more reserved. I didn't bring my hand back with the last pump, but left it waiting at the base.

I gave the stiff shaft a delicate lick before shoving the thing into my mouth. As my lips closed around the weeping head, Mikado's hips from hell rammed it into my throat. I gagged as it hit the back, my eye's tearing up as bad thought's entered the moment. I shoved his hips back down, locking them down.

I had to to swallow down the wretched feeling itching my throat, me trying to get a decent breath down. Then I set back to work finding the task to be quite boring, so I began to hum a random toon playing with the notes. Mikado really liked the humming based on his damn near scream a moment later. I kept it up, finding Mikado gripped the sheets tighter when I went on the high notes. His breaths were coming in shorter and noises louder. I noticed slipping off, letting my bottom lip touching the tip directly.

Mikado tied to complain about the cold air spiking at his red arousal. I took the lube that had fallen to the side forgotten like ages ago. I being super sneaky stuck my coated fingers into him. "Hell no!" He cried, voice cracking before the second word was even through. I had to laugh at his demand to remain seme. Yet I paid no heed to it as I slipped my index finger in as well. He moaned and his breath becoming labored to the new rad feeling, though he was more in shock.

"Shh. It's fine. It will be alright. It will feel really good in just a second." I said trying to comfort him, as I began moving the inserted fingers.I tried to thrust into that area that feels amazing. Of course because of the amount of sex we have I found it in no time. I really couldn't resist my delight showing as I heard the adorable high pitched moan from Mikado. "That's what I wanted to hear.I am so glade you agree." I said in a hushed whisper before I began softly nibbling on his ear.

Mikado's breath was shortening by the moment. I knew the pleasure that was overriding his senses as I skillfully fingered him. "Neh so close!" I of course need to rid myself from my own massive boner, so I stopped all action. I removed my finger's, re-coating them in lube. My hand focusing on covering his entire arousal in the substance.

"My turn!" I chirped as I inserted his length into me. I let any noise I felt needed to be released out, knowing that my timid Mikado enjoyed it loud. I moved eagerly despite my slight discomfort for not stretching myself well enough. I let my bouncing hips carry us into my fast pace, which I so needed. My incredible skills sending us on pleasure express, and I hit my spot in one go.

Our loud moans leaving the hushed darkness a small light to calm the loneliness surrounding it. My bed was creaking softly as it moved in time with our bodies that grinded above. My awesome leading moves were met by my handsome boyfriends uncomfortable bucking hips. Our paces increasing even more as our climax rapidly approached after some time. We simultaneously called each others names when our stamina ended.

I grinned as I rolled to face my red, panting Mikado. My own air in short supply I still spoke. "Gosh I really do love sex. Did you enjoy tonight too?"

Mikado started laughing at me. Probably because most people would say "I love you" at this time and here I was the one say more on "sex". He still replied. "I did. You must masturbate a lot to be so skilled." Despite that slightly making fun of me it still made me incredibly happy since he truly liked it.

"Why thank you! I sure do. But don't worry swear most of this sexiness is reserved for nights with you." I snuggled into him, and he wrapped an arm around me to pull me in closer.

"Well I thank you for sharing." Mikado yawned before he looked over to the clock that said it was 23:46 (11:45). "Good night beautiful." He had said softly before he closed his eyes quickly finding rest.

_See wasn't that a perfect night? I mean I so awesomely half topped and all. Oh god I felt so embarrassed when I had chocked. Honestly I was so scared and kept having awful mood killing flash backs. I hope I can remember tonight forever in more detail. Actually no it was embarrassing, but the urge was enough to write this sprawled out on my bath room floor to advoid using too bright of lights._

_Well it's three now and I can't sleep. In case your somehow wondering my ass feels just fine. But my sheets are soiled and I can never stand it. I have tried but I always end up taking a shower and wishing Mikado would get up so I could change the sheets. I was only able to stay in them once, and that was the first time we had done it. But I can't fully remember because we were on drugs... Well I guess right now is a good time to clean the house. Good night! or morning depending on if you count AM as morning._


	5. Entry Five

Dear Diary Thing,  
Alright today I am incredibly pissed. I failed a damn quiz in English. I am not saying failed as in D, 69%. Hell no! I'd take that goddamn D over my major time F. I managed to fail as in 12 fucking percent!

Yes I am not the best in school. Yeah so I have some gaps in my memory, because why hello depression. Okay maybe I didn't exactly study for the quiz. But the amazing Masaomi Kida has never failed a fucking thing in English. I am lazy sure, but stupid! Never.

I make foolish mistakes. I have a few mental issues. I hit on girls even though I have a beautiful boyfriend. I am not perfect, I know. I know I. Fail at most things. But not English. I always have gotten a 96 or above on my tests, whether I studied or not.

My teacher even asked if I was okay. I felt like crying. I had just became the academic leader for the entire English department, and then I went and failed a fucking test. I felt so stupid.

I haven't felt this stupid since I lost the war with the Blue Squares, put Saki in the hospital, and then got raped by Izaya. I can't actually even depict what part of that's the most embarrassing. I am feeling the Saki thing for what Mikado asked me today.

Before Mikado went home today he asked why I never really took off my white hoodie. I told him it was because I am always cold. But I lied. It's true I get cold really easily, but that only enables me to wear the jacket all day long.

Truth is Saki gave it to me the day before she ended up in the hospital. She was so happy, and said how white was a better color on me than yellow was. But truth is, I hated it. I refused to put it on. Honestly. I still hate it, but I still love her, so I wear it to always be with her. Plus it covers all the marks I have made on myself. It's nearly a completely sentimental thing of the past.

Am I a terrible boyfriend? Honestly I think I am. The first person I dated I managed to put into the hospital because I'm so fucking selfish and stupid. My boyfriend now, I love, but I feel like I am cheating on him with my infatuation with my ex. I am always hitting on girls. I am like a damn whore with Mikado.

I let Izaya slam me into a wall and make-out with me, while I was still dating Mikado. I feel the worst thing is that I haven't even told Mikado I didn't lose my virginity to him. I am such a failure. I love Mikado, I really do. But sometimes I feel like he'd be better off without me here.

I don't know but whatever. Thanks for letting me rant into your bindings. I really feel like hurting myself just, so I know how much I don't want to disappear.

****


	6. Entry Six

Dear Dairy Journal Thing,

Hello again my sexy binding of my of course magnificent words. I came here tonight after so long because guess what! I destroyed my kitchen in a cleaning project and it's been a full 2 hours since I've cleaned it. Oh my gosh I have never been so proud of myself.

Like first off I made a bunch of delicious chocolates for Mikado. I made like strawberry dipped in chocolate, or with banana's, raspberries, oh and fudge, and a few types of truffles. I made a lot of chocolate. It was delicious, and after we ate some we made-out on the couch. Oh yeah our clothes remained on.

The only thing that bothered me was that he had said we should give some to Anri. Yeah alright Anri is our friend, and I made a lot of chocolate, but I know he has a crush on her. I talk to girls, hell I flirt with her, but at least I can honestly say I only have eyes for Mikado. It feels like he thinks Anri is so much better than me, and it hurts.

I feel like even though this is fun she'll end up coming between us. We both like girls too so I feel jealous if Mikado is paying more attention to a boy or a girl! That's sometimes the reason I wish my mind had chosen one gender to be attracted to. I like girls and I like guys.

With Mikado though I don't really know if he had even ever looked at other guys. I know he likes girls. But what about the dudes? What if I'm some random case of teenage curiosity? Ugh! I think I am just a hormonal teenager with a messy kitchen. Oh God now I am thinking of the atrocity in my house!

All right I really can't stand it. I think 124 minutes is a fair amount of time to beat OCD. Do I have OCD? I really need to go clean that now. I promise I won't wait two days to write again. Here is a goodbye drenched in love! The love of Masaomi Kida that only few can earn or feel. Thank you.


End file.
